


The Strength She Has Left

by Pelicanoox



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love, Medical Experimentation, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 13:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15171581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pelicanoox/pseuds/Pelicanoox
Summary: When she faces a difficult situation with Dyoza Abby is determined to make the right thing, even if it requires some sacrifices.Post 5x08





	The Strength She Has Left

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I'm really tired of this pill thing with Abby, hope it will end soon, I did this fic to remember myself of Kabby, I loved season's 1 Abby, this is what I would like to happen.
> 
> Good Reading :)

"How is she?"

"She's healthy, but remember your pregnancy started a hundred years ago, I'll vaccinate you just to make sure everything's is fine, ok?"

"Just do It doctor Griffin, I am not afraid of needles"

"But of course you're not" Abby knew what she had to do, it didn't feel right, but someone always had to take the blame and now it was her turn. Marcus had done the hard thing so many times before, he had taken the blame for the pills, he had carried people out of the bunker, even before that he had done so many hard choices. Then, she did what she had to. 

After their appointment Dyoza handed Abby a new bottle of pills, who accepted that however, she was guilty because she needed to stop that. And she would, soon

* * *

The night came to find Abby alone in her daughter's house, she couldn't get any sleep, because of the pills, because Marcus wasn't there to hold her, because she was apart from her daughter again, so many reasons kept her awake. Yet, where was Marcus? It had been a week since their talk she had seen him but couldn't bring herself to talk to him, and for what?

She wasn't over the pills, at least she had founded the cure but no one would know that, she couldn't let more people die, she was tired, not only physically but emotionally, and she couldn't stop wondering where Marcus was. It has been a week, he could be sleeping on a house Dyoza found for him, he could be sleeping with the people that betrayed Octavia, their people, maybe Dyoza offered him a bed with her people. But he wasn't there with her and that bothered.

A knock on the door was everything she needed to keep her expectations up, the went to get it, hands shaking, the last pill she took was two hours ago. It had to be him, who else would search for her this time at night? she was nervous, what would she say? Why is he here? What she wasn't expecting was to find Raven and Shaw on the door.

"Raven, can I help?" After what she did to her was the least she could ask, she was even surprised Raven came to her after what happened that week.

"He's hurt, can we come in?" her tone wasn't friendly and Abby could comprehend why. Her friend was really hurt, she let them inside, they didn't talk too much, Raven was still upset and Abby wouldn't push it, so she just examined the man.

"He'll be alright, that's nothing big, just need some rest which, I know, it's difficult, but you can do your best, clean water will do good for the bruise, lemon will hurt but can be helpful too." was all Abby managed to say, she kept her gaze at Raven, who looked away while she was talkin.

"Thank you" said the man

"I am just doing my job, may I ask why are you here that late?" she was curious and Raven wouldn't tell it if she hadn't asked

"We waited until everybody fell asleep, didn't want to be noticed" Raven said, still not friendly but it was something.

Abby wondered if Marcus felt the same thing she's feeling now when she wouldn't talk to him, when she wanted to die and he didn't let her, it took her a month to forgive him

"Oh, and is Marcus sleeping there with you?"

"So you are worried about Kane? No, he's not there." that meant he was with Dyoza's people, his people, somehow it had became his people too, "is that all? We need to go back" Raven continued.

"Yes, that's all, you should go get some sleep." with that they left Abby alone on ther thoughts once more.

* * *

Morning came to find Abby sleeping alone, again. After hours of torture she could find some sleep, she woke the moment she heard the door open, it was Vinson, she had asked him to come.

"Called me, Doctor Griffin?"

"Yes Vinson, how are you feeling?" 

"I am good, thanks to you" he looked at her all the time, she wasn't sure if she could ask, but she felt obligated.

"Vinson, I brought you here because I need a favor," she lookes at him too, he was concerned, she hoped she could trust him, "I know Dyoza is your friend, but if something happens to me I need you to share that I found the cure"

"Why would something happen to you?" he looked puzzled, she wasn't attempting to share the cure, Dyoza would not hurt her as long as she was loyal.

"I can't tell you that, just tell me you'll do it, please" she said truthfully, there was something in his eyes, she knew he was curious about that but there was something more.

"You saved my life, if something happen to you it's  _the least_ I could do." he said, Abby helped him, but she was also the closest thing to a friend he had. She didn't see him as a serial killer, she wasn't afraid of him, he was just a patient. That made her different, if something happens to her, he will make sure everybody know about the cure, not only that, someone would have to pay for her life.

"Thank you, Vinson" she cut him away from his thoughts he only nodded and made his way out of the building.

The next thing Abby had to do was to find Raven. She was out of a building with Shaw, 

"Can I sit here with you?" she asked Raven

"I don't know, will you shock me again to get your pills?" the statement hurt. Abby paused not sure how to proceed, Raven was cleary upset. Shaw didn't move, didn't say anything.

"Raven, I need to talk to you, that's important." Abby said glancing at Shaw

"I'll give you space" he said but Raven reached for his hand

"The last time we were alone nothing good happened, Abby, so, are you here to talk to me or do you want something I can give you?"

"Both, but first I'd like to apologize, I know this is not going to make you trust me again, but I'm really sorry Raven" and that was true, Raven could see Abby's eye's watering, Abby was apart from Clarke, from Kane, possibly she was the only friend left, she was still upset, but she let go of Shaw's hand so Abby would take a sit.

"I killed people, Raven" now Raven was puzzled, why was Abby telling her that? Did she thing this you get her trust again? But she continued, "down ther in the bunker, we made wrong decisions, we all did things we didn't want to, I was sad, depressed, I hated myself for what I was doing that was when I started taking the pills more often" now Raven could see where she was going,

"Look, if you want to justify why -"

"I am not trying to excuse my mistakes" Abby interrupted her firmly, "what I wanted to say is that after everything I done, I couldn't let this people die."

"They're murders and thieves, Abby, you'd everyone a favor letting them die." 

"I am no better, neither is Marcus nor Octavia, we all did things, Raven"

"What could you have done down there that is so bad?" She asked, clearly courious but this was not the point.

"That's not something easy to say, let's just say the Dark year took our humanity" 

"Abby, what do you want to talk about?" the question, but it was not just a question, it was the light, that was a little hint of forgiveness, this was a start, a second chance, and Abby was not going to waste it.

"Not here" she said, and got up, Raven followed her through the woods, if that's one thing Abby would be glad about is that they had a connection, she didn't need to say things that Raven would understand.

They reached somewhere nobody would listen them. Sat on the floor, raven could see Abby was about to cry, whatever it was, it was difficult for her 

"I want to quit" She paused, "the pills only caused me more pain," Raven reached out for her friend. So many things Abby could have said and this was the only thing she wasn't expecting to be said, every addict would want to quit, but not every addict would realize what the drugs were doing to their lifes.

Abby reached her pocket to get something, it was the bottle of pills, of course, she would say she wants to quit but would also take another pill just after saying it, before Raven could realize Abby was not going to take the pill she said angrily, "what are you doing?"

Abby's response was to stretch her arm and hand the bottle to Raven, "I also can't stop taking it, so I want you to give me one pill once a day, after my body is fine with it, we'll go with once a week and then stop. Please, tell me I can count on you." that was it, Abby  _really_ wanted to stop. For that, Raven hugged her tight.

"Of course you can count on me Abby" they were both crying, Abby beucase this meant forgiveness and Raven because Abby was ready to do something her mother never had the strength to do, "whatever you did in that bunker does not define who you are, I know you're a good person" Raven whispered in her friend's ear.

"Do you?" Raven could barely hear it, Abby was broken, she needed a friend. Raven broke their embrace so she could look her in the eye to say,

"It's easier to have compassion for a good person than a murderer. You want to save those people because you have a big heart, Abby, and that's your greatest quality"

"Dyoza asked me to keep the cure from them, I don't know why but she's willing to let her people die." Abby confessed it felt like like a million pounds had been taken away from her shoulders

"And you'll do it? Let her people die?" Raven asked, this was not easy to Abby, she knew that, but after everything it was even harder to accept that Dr Griffin would let them die.

"She'll hate me, but I'll save those people, even if that's the last thing I do" something was wrong, something was cleary wrong, just like in the ark when Abby would help her get to the ground,

"Abby, what have you done?"

* * *

 

 She went to back to the house, Marcus was waiting for her outside, he saw her and ran, however, he was not running because he's was worried over her, something happened

"Where have you been all day long? She needs you!" he shouted, and it hurt, he didn't even asked if she was ok.

"Who needs me, Marcus?" she said in a firm tone.

"Dyoza, something is wrong, I can be the baby, she's waiting for you for hours, she's inside" he was still inpatient, maybe it was true, maybe something was happening between him and Dyoza, Abby didn't want to believe Marcus would ever do that, but he was a man, they kind of broke up and Dyoza was kind of too friendly with him. 

She went inside anyway, this wasn't time to regretful over Marcus, she had another problem to resolve.

"So what's going on?" she asked as soon as they were inside, making their way to where Dyoza was laying as a patient.

"I am not alright, I was coughing blood earlier, I think something is wrong with her" she put her hand on the stomach to tell Abby exactly what she meant.

"Marcus, could give us a moment?" Abby said trying to be alone with Dyoza

"Actually he can stay, I won't be ashamed," she said and Abby felt another stab on her heart, had heen already seen her naked belly? She needed to push this thought away, but she was relieved when Marcus didn't move, he didn't try to get closer to Dyoza, but also he didn't left the room.

"This is not about your baby, she is fine," she said without even examining her, Dyoza was tense, but she cleary didn't know what was going on, Abby was doing everything she could to avoid Marcus' eyes, she knew he was looking at her, but she wasn't strong enough to deal with the expression in his eyes, "you have the virus, the same that everyone does, I put it on your veins because I couldn't let your people die."

"What does that mean?" she said angrily, cleary disturbed but she didn't try to hurt Abby, for that, she was glad Marcus was still in the room, Dyoza wouldn't hurt her as long as he was here.

"It means that if you don't tell your people about the cure, you're going to die with them, of I'll cure you, I'll cure everybody" she could say Dyoza was even more angry after that.

"Was that a threat, doctor Griffin?" 

"No, it was a warning" Abby said firmly, she wasn't afraind of Dyoza, she kept her posture, as always

"May I remember you that I am the one who is giving you your pills"

"And may I remember you that If you kill me, you're going to die along with your people," Abby glanced at Marcus he was frozen, shocked, at least he didn't say anything, Abby could handle Dyoza but she couldn't fight with him anymore. 

Dyoza made her way over the room so she could leave before she opened the door to leave she said, "I will not kill you, but I hope detox will"

"I don't need your pills anymore!" was the last thing she said before Dyoza left, Abby waited to Marcus to follow her, but he didn't he stayed at the same spot he had been all of the time frozen.

"Marcus..." Abby said, trying to break the tension in the room. The silence bothered her.

"What didn't you tell me?" his voice was low almost a whisper, he wasn't angry but he wasn't happy either. He was sad.

"Tell you what?" she said backing away from him, she would have to explain everything, she knew it, but she was tired, her body was starting to crave for the pills it's been hours since she took the last one, she didn't know if she had the energy for this conversation right now.

"Everything. About the cure, about Dyoza, about you infecting her." his voice now was harder, he was getting closer to her, she could feel it, even though she couldn't see him because her back as turned at him he was right behind her, she knew it.

"If you are worried about your friends health she's going to be fine, I won't let her die just as I won't let these people die" she made clear to him that she was bluffing but that was not what Marcus wanted to hear.

"Abby looked at me," she didn't turn around, she couldn't, he placed a hand on her shoulder, she could feel this was not about authoritie, his hand was gentle, "please, look at me" she turned to face him, she tried to be strong, to keep him out of that but she was tired, she needed him, more than that, she needed him to understand, and by the way his hand caressed her shoulder she could say that he wanted the same.

"I'm sorry" she murmured, there was sadness in his eyes, it made harder for her to take back her own tears.

"It was not about Dyoza I was worried about," he whispered moving his hand to her cheek, she gave in into his touch, she missed this, "she could kill you for that"

"I know, but I had to try, Marcus, I can't let this people die not after --" he stoped her from saying what she was about to placing a gentle finger on her lips.

"I am sorry too." he said, changing she subject, they were close, the same hand he used to keep her quiet for a moment he placed on her back, the other held her on hand firmly between them, "I should be here, when you found the cure, when Dyoza tried to make you keep it secret, I should have believed you when you told me you'd stop."

She couldn't fight the tears anymore, instead she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to her, it felt too good to be held by his strong arms.

"I love you, Marcus" she whispered in his ear, and she could tell he smiled against her shoulder, he was crying too.

"I love you too" he said, he could feel her shaking hand on his hair affectionately, "and I promised I was going to help though detox."

"About that" Abby started and moved so she could face him, "I asked Raven to dose the last pills I have, I am not strong enough to stop it abruptly" he placed his hand back on her cheek to wrap her tear

"Of course,  _Doctor"_ he brought her face close to his until their foreheads were touching, he took a moment to look her in the eyes, and he smiled. 

Next, his lips were in hers, it started slow but both of them missed that, there was passion, more than that, love. He was warm, he was her home. She didn't try stop him when he carried her to ber or when he undressed her, they needed that, they needed comfort, they needed each other.

That night, they lay in bed, neither could sleep, but they were together, wrapped aroud each other, that was all that mattered, they knew what they were going to face on the other day, but whatever happened, they were together.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> So, what did you think? I really like Dyoza but, as a Kabby shipper, Kanoza can't happen.  
> I also hope Abby will stop taking the pills soon.


End file.
